Saints Win~Housewives Lose

Well as we begin another week, let me just start by saying congratulations to the New Orleans Saints. They played an amazing game and deserved the win. A big shout out to Austin's own Drew Brees, who played like true champion! I loved watching him savor the victory with his beautiful wife and adorable son. Let me also say that if I hear one more "who dat" I'm going to go insane!!! Its like all of a sudden, everyone is a Saints fan. So glad the big game is over, now let's get back to reality.

Speaking of reality, just watched last week's episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County and let me just say, "with friends like those self-centered narcissists, who needs enemies"? The show starts off with Tamra trying to convince us (and herself) how madly in love she is with her husband, Simon. She decides that best way to prove her love is to have Simon's name tatooed on her ring finger. Judging by the recent news that she & Simon are divorcing, maybe she should have tatooed it on her middle finger. That would come in really handy while they navigate through their divorce proceedings. Anyway, Simon is really touched when Tamra surprises him with the tattoo; he says that "its a very unselfish thing that she's done". Let's see if he feels that way after the divorce! I'm just sayin'........


Cut to loopy Lynne deciding to have a dinner party for "the girls" and their hubbies. She wants to show off her beautiful new digs, QUICK!!! No telling how long she and hubby will be able to afford to live there, so get the party on girl!!!

Gretchen decides to pay Vicki a visit to "pick at her brain" (her words, not mine) about her business and work ethic. Vicki condescendingly looks over Gretchen's makeup line, and keeps saying how "cute" everything is. She then proceeds to probe her about her financial situation. "You got money when Jeff died, didn't you? "Does Slade have a job"? Gretchen gets pissed off and says that she doesn't want Vicki in her f'in business (off camera, of course.) O.K. Gretch honey, then don't show up at her office asking for her advice. Problem solved.



Next up, Alexis and her icky hubby Jim decide to take a 2 day getaway with no children. Just the two of them. No kids and none of their three nannies, dammit! In the car on the way to their destination, slimy hubby scolds Alexis for not bringing two swimsuits, because he wants to lay out for two days! "Not one day Alexis...two"!!! In the end, he says he'll buy her a new swimsuit and OMG, you'd think he just told her she won the lottery! She is giddy with excitement as they pull into the hotel where they met those magical 5 years ago. He surprises her with the Presidential Suite and they begin to reminisce (actually they tell us every painstaking detail) of the day they met. Favorite part is when brilliant Jim looks over at the pink flamingos and says "wow, look at those beautiful swans...I wonder how much they cost"? LMAO...they cost A LOT Jimbo but we all know that you can afford anything you frickin' want. You bought your beautiful wifey, didn't you? In a tender moment, he tells us that after being single for 10 years, he was looking for a "sexy, elegant wife". Aw, icky Jim, so deep. What about her morals, values, or the way she treats other people? Nah, he's stickin' with sexy elegance. Can we say Douche Lord??????

Tamra & Simon are the first to show up @ Lynn's dinner party and they can't stop gushing about how similar they are to Lyyn and her hubby. They're "real and genuine" and "just good people". Group hug! They all decide that they're all just "too nice and too down to earth". blah, blah, blah...."Love you guys, love you too, no, love you more". Gagging.....Tamra proceeds to get her drink on (as usual) and things start to get a little sloppy.


During the lovefest, Simon sees Vicki coming and waves with no response from the evil diva. Vicki decides to go the party , not because she wants to but because she has to. She tells Don she's going to take the high road and get along with everyone. Uh huh, let's take bets on that one!

Gretchen shows up at the party despite her squabble with Lynn about how she's raising her daughter. They all get a good laugh at the BITCH wine (which let me just say, I've had and its awesome!) and the games begin!

Tamra is wastey and gushing all over Vicki, and then tries to get Vicki & Simon to play nice. Vicki calls her out for not sticking up for her, and a huge ass fight ensues. Meanwhile, poor Don, Vicki's sweet puppy of a hubby just tries to stay out of it. Wow, don't you just love these friendly dinner parties? Wonder if they'll be having "a rat's ass" for dinner? Vicki must have said that at least 10 times! LMAO!!! Out on the balcony, Vicki keeps telling Tamra and Lynn that she "just wants to take the high road", and Lynne looks at her and says "you don't have to work out"! WTF??????? I want whatever she's on!!!

Finally at the dinner table, everyone starts talking about how they met. BIG MISTAKE, because this causes self-centered its all about me Alexis, to make everyone want to jump off the balcony with her minute by minute description of her & skank king Jim's first meeting. Vicki and Don act like they've fallen asleep at the end of the table during her story (pretty frickin' funny) and all hell breaks loose. Pissed, Vicki storms out (with wimpy Don) in tow and I know you'll never believe this, but everyone at the table starts shit talkin' Vicki!! Its O.K. though, 'cuz in the limo on the way home, Don reaffirms that he "doesn't give a rat's ass" about any of them!!! Hmmm, just wondering, do you think the BITCH wine was a good pairing for the rat's ass? I'm just sayin...

Can't wait for tonight's Bachelor...look for my blog manana and always remember to BELIEVE~~~