Bachelor Scandal

The new US Weekly out on stands now reports that our take on Bachelor contestant Vienna may be right on the money. Apparently, the unemployed 23 year old Hooters wacko (oops, I mean waitress) withdrew the last $5,000 from her ex- husband Josh Riley's bank account for breast implants, while he was stationed in Iraq.
To add salt to the wound, he says that when he returned from his tour of duty in Iraq (where he was injured in an explosion) our Vienna had "locked his belongings in storage and would not tell us where they were." Riley who was only married to Vienna for 10 months, also said that his then wife, "slept with one of my buddies I was deployed with, and I'm 99% sure she cheated on me." Not surprising that he adds "marrying her was a mistake."
O.K. didn't she cry to Jake in an earlier episode and say that she married a guy on the rebound and it was a mistake and they divorced? All clean and pretty, wrapped up in a bow so she and Jake could sail off into the sunset together, right? Hmmm...guess she forgot to include the above mentioned sordid little details. Oh well, I'm betting that Jake will figure it all out and the final Rose ceremony will come down to Ali and Tenley.
For more Bachelor news like who Tenley's ex hubby ran off with, and who regrets getting breast implants (Gia?), stay tuned.
More blog later..BELIEVE~~~

The Bachelor Fireworks

Corrie admits to Jake that she's a virgin, and his face lights up like the sky on the 4th of July!!

O.K., let's start at the beginning. The 5 remaining girls arrive in San Francisco which is the end of their "road trip". They get to stay @ the fabulous Intercontinental Hotel and the suite is beautiful and spacious, and Vienna says "as much as I love roughing it, its good to be here". Yea right...we girls just LOVE roughing it Vienna.

In comes Jake who hands the date card to Tenley and of course says "don't open it until I'm gone". All 5 girls in unison say, O.K. JAAAKE!!!!!!! Tenley opens it up and OMG!! it's for her! Is anybody seeing a pattern here? Anyway, this will be their very first one on one and she is so nervous that she actually breaks out into a sweat. Close up on Vienna who is biting her nails and flashing her red eyes of fire at sweet Tenley. Oops, quick, look at Ali, she looks just like Rachael McAdams did in Mean Girls.... I mean I really liked Ali at first, and for the most part still do, but she can be pretty catty...I'm just sayin...

So Jake and Tenley go to explore San Francisco. They have a real chemistry and actually, she really is starting to seem the most well-suited to Jake. Last week I kind of thought she might be hiding something, but not so sure anymore. I mean she really just might be THAT sweet. Jake even said that he could really envision her as his wife (just hope he can put up with all of her "baby talking", I read somewhere that it played a big part in her divorce). LMAO jk They wrote their own fortunes in Chinatown and then opened them up at dinner and OMG, cue up the "On the Wings of Love" soundtrack, they both wrote KISS ME!!!! Ahhhh.... I just love The Bachelor, it really just mimics dates that we everyday people go on.

Next up, the date card comes for the "two on one" date. Ali says she'll die if her name is on it, because she's from San Francisco and she wants to show Jake her city alone. Sweet, quiet (now we know virginal) Corrie opens it and says its for Ali & Vienna!!! WTF??? Ali says she feels like she's gonna throw up and Vienna looks pissed. Then all of a sudden Corrie screams out "Just Kidding" and dies laughing. Pretty funny stuff! Actually, the date will include Gia and Vienna.

Bring on the two woman date! Gia is so insecure and Vienna is uber psycho confident. They arrive at the (Twelve Century Tuscan) Castle vineyard....again, just another normal date, no big deal. Vienna sees Jake standing at the top of the Castle stairs, and says "he's her prince and she's her Dad's princess, (CREEPY) and she'll be Jake's queen". Ewww....I feel dirty... lol Vienna decides to "act like Gia just isn't there" and also decides to throw Ali under the bus while she's at it. She fakes a tear or two and all this is done in front of poor, already insecure Gia. Vienna says out loud to Jake and Gia, "I'm just gonna think in my mind, "that's o.k. he's mine and that's it". Wow, so powerful. Anyway, Jake asks to take Gia outside and Vienna gets pissed. Gia smiles at her and says "you can eat my salmon".... WTF??? Anyway, Jake proceeds to make Gia feel more secure by sucking face with her for at least 8-9 t.v. minutes. Meanwhile, Crazy Vienna is walking through the castle with a frickin' lantern calling out for Jake. Jake and Gia still sucking face....Vienna is now lost in the castle and she's really scared (please! look behind you Vienna, there's a whole frickin' camera crew!) laughing their asses off at u! Anyway, next Vienna and Jake spend time together and it seems a little forced. He tells both women goodnight and heads down to his bedroom where he takes off his shirt and we finally get to see his ripped pilot abs. Vienna decides to go down to Jake's bedroom with some wine and tell Jake goodnight. Jake says "she looks sexy as hell" and admits he "did have dirty thoughts" ewwww...AWKWARD!!!! He wisely sends her back upstairs.

Next date is with Corrie. The entire date is really lackluster. To begin with, she DOES get a real live normal date. He takes her for a frickin' picnic on a canoe. How romantic! Not! They have zero chemistry and neither one is making the effort to kiss each other. At dinner that night Jake gets her to open up and viola, she admits she's saving herself for marriage. Jake gets a grin from ear to ear and says he really respects her and proceeds to start the face sucking with her too! Really?????

Last date is with Ali and she is sooo over the top excited that it is almost uncomfortable. Jake seems to like her but she definitely seems to like him just a little more. She shows him around San Francisco and they end up making out with her on top of him in the park (aww..so sweet) and finally end the date at the bay . They pop champagne, trade a few pecks and then, Jake suggests that they both go jump in the water!! They do, and Ali says she will remember it forever (probably because she just ruined a very cool, very expensive) pair of boots. That crazy Jake!!! So spontaneous!!!

Rose Ceremony...Jake talks to all of the girls and leaves Vienna for last. Surely he's figured out what a complete nut job she is and will not give her a rose. But Wait!!! He comes in and says he feels bad for sending her away at the castle so he takes her to see his hotel room. He confesses he really likes her and you know the rest...suck face for the cameras.

When its all said and done, he lets Corrie go. Sad 'cuz she really is sweet but someone had to go. I thought it was ironic how she and Tenley were being so boistrous and silly at the end clip of the show. Maybe if Jake got to see that side of her he would've kept her around.

Oh well, home town dates next week look yummy. Vienna's dad looks like he was an original cast member from "Deliverance". Gia's mom, ooh, now she looks like trouble, you know what I'm sayin? lol

I'm baby sitiing Whitney's new puppy BooBoo, an 8 week old Morkie (25% maltese & 75% Yorkie). He is sooo cute but he is a boy and he wants to play a lot, so off I go!

Watch for my Real Housewives blog tomorrow. Didn't get to it last week. 'Till then, be nice to each other and the ones you love, and always remember to BELIEVE~~~~~

The Bachelor/Road Trip...Need I say more?

The girls are told to pack up and get ready for a road trip and they all squeel like they've just won a million dollars! They divide into two groups on two buses, and immediately begin talking smack about the other group. One thing seems to be a common denominator; they all hate Vienna.

I'll go ahead and jump on that band wagon. Since delusionoid Michelle left, Vienna has definitely stepped in to fill her shoes. The way she refers to Jake as "her boyfriend" and the way she ooohs and ahhs and pawns all over him every time she sees him, ummmm, psycho!!

Jake hands the women a date card and makes them promise not to open it until he drives off on his moped (oops! I mean motorcycle!) He gave it to Gia, and OMG, the card is for Gia!!!! The other girls shoot her dagger looks as she gets ready for her date dressed to the nines in yep, you got it, stiletto heels and a way ugly outfit! Oh, you can hear the pure screams of delight as macho man Jake drives up on his bike...not so much when Gia climbs on back and they ride off into the sunset! (Don't tell anybody, but I get a warm feeling all over just looking at the girl's sad, let down faces)...I'm just sayin'....

Fast forward to Jake shaving in the rough, then changing his shirt so that we can see his ripped pilot abs. What a D-Lord!! Really?? Next he's telling us that "I've set up a little camp in the middle of the vineyard"; followed by "I cant' think of a better place to fall in love than in a vineyard". Wow! Maybe I've been a little too hard on Jake, I mean I totally agree! I'm a firm believer that with enough wine, anyone can fall in love in a vineyard, at least for the night! Back to the date. So Gia, (who does the girls from Jersey Shore proud), suggests that they play a little game of Hide and Seek in the vineyard. This goes over really well with Jake who says it shows him that "she has a real passion for life". Wow, I like Hide & Seek too!!! Who knew? Then she runs up & straddles him and he says he loves having her wrapped around him (this as he noticeably struggles to wobble his way out of the vineyard with Gia attached to his back!) LMAO!!

Gia confesses (like all half-way good looking women do on these shows) that she was a total nerd back in the day and that her mom had to pull her out of school. Oh , o.k. now I get it. THAT'S why she wanted to play Hide and Seek and then followed that game up with the old standby, Spin the Bottle. She's in her element, its all she knows. (Who writes this stuff?) Jake proceeds to confess that his nickname in 9th grade was "Mr. Dateless". Really??? So much has changed, I mean look at him now having to go on a "Reality" t.v. show to find a date! Wow, good stuff! Then as "On the Wings of Love" plays creepily in the background, Jake asks Gia where he sees them in the future? She hesitates and then says "I'd like to be engaged for a while, like for 2 years, have 2 kids before the age of 30, adopt a baby girl from China and have a monkey". RUN JAKE, RUN!!!!
He ends the date by saying how wonderful it was to be around such a complex girl who was able to enjoy a simple date. Quick Jake, ask her spell "simple date", or "monkey" or "Gia"!! Needless to say, she bags the rose and goes home to taunt the other girls with her dreamy glazed over look of love.

Next group date, a bunch of the girls get to go Dune Buggying with Jake! They all have a lot of fun and Jake can't resist telling them that he "likes dirty girls"! All together now, ewwwwwwww. That night Jake wants to talk with each of the women and asks crazy Vienna to go talk first. She asks if she can go last (like a true freak show) because "she wants to be the last one to kiss him".

Ashley proves to be yet another desperate creeper when she keeps answering Jake's questions while rubbing his leg and saying in her best sultry voice, "what else, what else?" They have zero chemistry. Next!!!

Next up Ali, who I still think will win Jake (isn't that an oxymoron?) if not be in the final two. When Ali says how hard it is for her to watch him with the other girls, he says "I'm just trying to give everyone a fair shot". Excuse me, I think I just threw up in my mouth. Really??? Side note: I absolutely love Ali's sense of style. She always looks effortlessly put together and I like the fact that "yellow" is her little black dress.

Fast forward to sweet, presh,innocent Tenley who hasn't been kissed since her big bad ex husband left her for no reason at all. That's why she basically plants a big, sexy "take me to the Madonna Suite bedroom" kiss on Jake the minute she gets a chance! There's something not quite right about Miss Tenley, can't put my finger on it, I'm just sayin'...

Last date comes down to 2 girls, one of which will go home. Long story short, Jake decides they both need to go and GASP!! throws the rose into the campfire!!! When the chauffer comes to pick up the bags of the ousted girl and takes both Ella and Kathryn's bags, OMG!!! the girls fall apart. Sweet Tenley leads the crying saying, "they're BOTH gone"!! Boo hoo hoo!~ Uh huh, like I said, there's gotta be another story behind this girl, she just seems too good to be true. Guess we'll have to wait and see!

At the rose ceremony, creeper Ashley and the sweet brunette girl (can't remember her name) both get sent packing. Sweet brunette girl leaves with class and her dignity in tact. Ashley, um not so much. She's crying and spewing venom all the while walking down the driveway and the van never comes for her. Again, LMAO!
So we wait with baited breath for next week's show. As always I'll be here to offer my take on it all.
Until then, peace out homies and always remember to BELIEVE!!!!

Say it ain't so!!

Word on Gossip Ave. is that Real Housewives of Orange County's Tamra Barney is getting a divorce. Not that big of a surprise, unless you consider that her husband Simon actually filed for the divorce! He claims that Tamra 42, cheated & was verbally abusive! I know that some of you peeps get your hate on with Simon, but I have always thought that he was just trying to protect Tamra. She is always pissin' somebody off and then wanting to play nice (i.e. Gretchen) Then she calls Simon "judgmental" when she decides to befriend her again! Oh well, I could really care less about them, but as always, feel very sorry for the kids. Wouldn't it be funny if we come to find out that Tamra cheated on Simon with Vicki? LMAO...Talk about "must see t.v." :-)

On a much lighter note, how about those whackos on The Bachelor? I was home alone and Michelle even had me freaked out!! Was so happy that "Nice Guy Jake" grew some cajones and escorted her to the curb (literally!) Don't worry, I'm sure she'll have no problem getting a date after her appearance on this show! Hmmmm...maybe she and Tamra could hook up? lol Then there's the other whack job, "Elizabeth from Nebraska" (Tease Queen)! I mean who goes on the #1 rated prime time reality dating show and reads a poorly written note to the guy saying and I paraphrase, "you cannot kiss me until you propose to me". And to make matters worse, all she ever wants to talk about with said guy is what a great kisser she is!! Hope her lips didn't get too bruised when he drop kicked her to the curb!

And finally, on a MUCH lighter note, it seems that after 4 years as a judge on America's Got Talent, David Hasselhoff has announced that he's leaving to start his own show. Insiders however say that he was fired for "erratic behavior and drinking". C'mom give The Hoff a break. He's gotten a bad rap ever since his teenage daughter filmed him drunkenly eating a hamburger off a hotel-room floor. I'm trying to help him come up with a title for his new show. How about " Hoff's Hamburger Hotel", or "Daddy Says Turn the Camcorder Off"? Oh well, I'm just sayin.....



I BELIEVE that I have a dinner date tonight and that I had better get my glam on. :-) Stay tuned for more Hollywood 411.

Peace out!